A Concrete Solution for Utah's Dusty Dilemma

For too long, Utah has suffered from the unpredictable nature of the so-called "Great" Salt Lake.

FINALLY SOLVING UTAH'S LAKE PROBLEM
LEARN ABOUT OUR VISION

OUR VISIONARY MISSION

Paving the Great Salt Lake

Concrete Solutions for Liquid Problems

The Pave the Great Salt Lake Initiative proposes the complete covering of this troublesome body of water with pavement, transforming an environmental hazard into a thriving commercial opportunity.

Our team of experts have devised the perfect solution to Utah's lake problem: replace it with 1,700 square miles of premium pavement.

Progress is just a pour away!

BENEFITS OF OUR PROPOSAL

ELIMINATE DUST PERMANENTLY

Why worry about toxic dust when you can simply entomb it under 1,700 square miles of premium concrete? Out of sight, out of lungs!

ECONOMIC PROSPERITY

Imagine the world's largest car dealership plaza! Utah can become the premier destination for purchasing slightly-above-market-price sedans.

DISCOURAGE AVIAN FREELOADERS

For too long, migratory birds have used our airspace without contributing to our economy. You ask them to lift a feather and what do you get? Crickets. These immigrants arrive without paperwork!

JOBS, JOBS, JOBS

It will take thousands of workers to pour this much concrete! The economic benefits will trickle down to local communities.

THE CONCRETE NUMBERS

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Square Miles of Concrete

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Car Dealerships Potential

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Problem Solved

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

What about the ecosystem?

We've calculated that ecosystems provide far less tax revenue than car dealerships. The math is clear!

Isn't the lake important for snow patterns and local climate?

Snow is just frozen water that requires expensive removal. Less snow means more savings!

Couldn't we just conserve water upstream to refill the lake naturally?

And deny ourselves the opportunity to create the world's largest parking lot? Why do you hate America?